Fresh

Baseball (Battle)

Megan Sita Hoare:

Phillies, not worried bout that
Those hillbillies forgot their hats
As for the Yanks
Just a bunch of skanks
Now for the Mets
I am their little pet
I’ll be your lap cat Daniel Murphy
I’m your little shamrock cookin you a turkey
On Thanksgiving
Celebratin that win, from last month
October
The Yanks lost so bad they’re still not sober


Thomas Fishman:

shit you been smokin
got you makin up reasons for 2 seasons of chokin
we got 26 rings kid
damn it must sting peepin all that bling kid
yanks playin ball in the fall
your team’s a summer fling kid
ya boys losin in Queens
while we’re the baseball kings kid


Megan Sita Hoare:

Listen Tommy F
Your rhymes fell flat
Made less sense than a baseball and a nap
Here’s the real deal
Your team wouldn’t peel
A banana
For their fans
Unless they got cash filled up in a Uhaul van
Talkin about rings?
Yeah that’d sting
If it happened in this decade
Do yourself a favor and go to a Met game


Thomas Fishman:

livin in philly, betta stick to the flyers
or getcha grill cracked
like the wife of brett myers
brad lidge is a pigeon
my boy mo’s a savage
ya team’s playoff chances
equal jimmy rollins’ batting average
and that team at shitty field
they soft like titties feel
y’all fake cats betta stick to the shake shack
no new tricks since eighty-six
and i know y’all hate that
no take backs
we break bats
throwin nasty pitches at y’all nasty bitches
while ya fans rock fake hats.


Megan Sita Hoare:

The Phillies aint a threat
Here’s your best bet
Find yourself a map
Stifle your crude raps
Look where you live
Citi Field is in your vicinity
Not those Bronx bombers with their stale-ass history
Look even Jeter’s gone pale listenin to me
Don’t take it from me
Your lover Teixeira agrees
He doesn’t accept you in the white and navy blue
When your blood really runs orange and bright blue hues

threw out my socks never ordered lox always ordered socks never made sense threw out the tent time for Lent told Mr. Belding go get bent

fly open
eyes closed
sorry ma’am
didn’t mean to expose
myself to your son
he’s 18 years under 21
don’t be mad
at least he’s not drunk
just be happy
he’s addicted to
that elephant trunk